Every time I look at my daughter, I wish I could begin to tell her so many things about life and love, but she's just two years old and I have very limited vocabulary to share my thoughts with her in a way she'll understand.
However, I have the opportunity to interact with many young, single and beautiful ladies out there and I don't hesitate (if the opportunity arises) to discuss with them the truths and understanding I have learned about love and life, especially since I began to see relationships and marriage in a new light.
I will put down some of those things I sincerely wish all single ladies should know as far as relationships and marriage are concerned. Some of these might not go down well with you (at first) but will get you out of any trouble you are probably in or might just be strolling into.
Just before I go ahead, you may wonder why/how I am qualified to write these, well here's a little background:
- I have now been married for 3 years plus and am fulfilled,
- all my mentors are happily married,
- I have been reading (and following) blogs on marriage/being single long before I got married
- all the authors I read are married Christians and majority of them blog based on personal experiences,
- I love God with all my heart and He has given me grace to see marriage relationships in a peculiar way.
Now to my list;
1. Friendship is a foundation you can't afford not to build. Love at first sight is good but is not equal to a happy marriage. In relationships, you get to see a new side of a person everyday. Friendship makes knowing a person effortless. You are not bound to accepting the things you see, you choose to accept them. It even puts you in a vantage position to influence a person to change. In the long run, being married to your friend is the best thing that can ever happen to you.
2. A man that has everything (ethics and values) you can think of but does not have the fear of God will break your heart ultimately, if not literally. There are degrees to which people act the way they do, and this is directly proportional to their distance from God's Spirit which actually exists in every man that is alive. What makes killers and dangerous people do what they do is the fact that they do not fear God, they have lost touch with the God in them. What sustains a marriage is more than love, ethics or values.
3. There is no single bone-of-your-bone, flesh-of-your-flesh. You are not Eve and no man is your Adam. You have the power of choice and can exercise that by saying NO to anyone who does not fit the description of the spouse you dream of. Don't ever think that if you lose this person, you'll never find another like him. In fact your chances of meeting a better man just increased.
4. Your greatest point of pressure to make a marriage decision (hastily) is most likely your parents and or family. This is because, genuinely they want you to be happily married, but truthfully, the best they can do is organize the best wedding ceremony ever for you while you are solely responsible for building the best mariage you can ever have. Since success is not tied to your marital status, please take your time. Be single and happy.
More of these will be mentioned in subsequent posts.